10 Unwritten Rules for the Slow Traveler in Istanbul

Istanbul is a captivating city where East meets West, blending imperial history with dynamic modern life. While the official rules are visible, the true heart of Istanbul lies in its subtle, unwritten social codes that dictate respect, hospitality, and daily life.

For the slow traveler, observing these unspoken rules is the most direct path to understanding the Turkish soul, a mix of deep tradition, warm hospitality, and a surprisingly high degree of European casualness. Here are 10 essential unwritten rules to follow to move through Istanbul like a local:

1. The Ritual of Çay (Tea)

• The Rule: Turkish hospitality is fueled by çay, which is offered everywhere, from rug shops to casual meetings to the moment you sit down in a home. Refusing it outright can be seen as rejecting kindness.

• How to Handle It: Always accept the tea, even if it’s just one small tulip glass. Sip it slowly. If you genuinely cannot drink any more, politely place your small glass spoon on top of the glass horizontally to signal that you are finished.

  
  

2. Public Display of Affection (PDA) Boundaries

• The Rule: While Istanbul is modern, public displays of intimate affection are generally reserved for private spaces, especially in more conservative or historically religious neighborhoods.

• How to Handle It: Holding hands or walking arm-in-arm is perfectly fine. However, limit kissing and prolonged physical contact in public areas like crowded streets, mosques, or while using public transport.

3. The Art of the Grand Bazaar Negotiation

• The Rule: In historic markets like the Grand Bazaar, the first price you are quoted is a starting point, not the final price. Bargaining is expected and part of the social ritual.

• How to Handle It: Engage the seller respectfully and enjoy the conversation. Aim to pay 60-70% of the initial quoted price. Be friendly, but never insult the item or the seller’s integrity. If you are serious, stick around; if not, politely say "Teşekkürler" (Thank you) and move on.

4. Respecting the Prayer Call (Ezân)

• The Rule: Five times a day, the ezân (call to prayer) rings out across the city. This is a moment of deep cultural and religious importance.

• How to Handle It: When the ezân begins, pull over, pause conversations, or simply lower your voice in crowded, noisy areas. It is a moment for respect, not disruption. Avoid standing directly in front of a person praying.

5. The Bread Etiquette

• The Rule: Bread (ekmek) is a staple of life and holds immense cultural value; wasting it or disrespecting it is frowned upon.

• How to Handle It: Never throw bread away. If you drop a piece on the ground, a local might pick it up, kiss it, and put it on a high ledge for birds, symbolizing respect. Use the bread to scoop up sauces and dips on your plate.

6. The Shoe Removal Protocol

• The Rule: When entering a private home, or a mosque, removing your shoes at the door is a non-negotiable sign of respect and cleanliness.

• How to Handle It: Always remove your shoes immediately upon entering a Turkish home. When visiting a mosque, do the same, and ensure you are dressed modestly (women should cover their hair, arms, and legs; men should wear long pants).

7. Addressing and Acknowledging Shopkeepers

• The Rule: Unlike some large Western cities, Istanbul retains a strong neighborhood feel, and simply walking into a shop without acknowledgment is considered cold.

• How to Handle It: When entering a small shop, always offer a friendly greeting: "Merhaba" (Hello). When leaving, whether you bought something or not, say "Teşekkürler" (Thank you) or "Güle güle" (Goodbye).

8. The Unwavering Handshake

• The Rule: When greeting new acquaintances, especially in a formal or business setting, a firm handshake is the standard protocol.

• How to Handle It: Always shake hands upon meeting and parting. With close friends, expect a kiss on both cheeks (starting with the right). When greeting elders, a gesture of respect is touching their hand to your forehead after shaking it.

9. Punctuality is Relaxed (Except for Official Business)

• The Rule: In social settings, there is a degree of flexibility, or rahatlık (relaxedness), regarding time that contrasts with Western standards.

• How to Handle It: For dinner or social gatherings, do not arrive exactly on time; arriving 10-15 minutes late is often standard and fine. However, be strictly punctual for business meetings, guided tours, or transport schedules.

10. Tipping is Expected (But Calculated)

• The Rule: Tipping is customary in restaurants, hotels, and for services, but the expected amount is lower than in many Western countries.

• How to Handle It: In restaurants, round up the bill or leave 5-10% of the total amount in cash on the table, do not add it to the credit card slip. For taxi drivers, simply round up to the nearest convenient lira amount.

By embracing these unwritten rules, your slow travel through Istanbul will be not only smoother but also richer, transforming your experience into a respectful and genuine cultural exchange.